GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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