Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
