Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
thus making me awesome and them whores
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
