It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
nutella sex= disaster
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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