it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Farmville is her only friend.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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