Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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