he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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