I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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