I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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