Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
