Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
