I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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