Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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