batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
