omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
