I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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