Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I love you. Go after that dick
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
