Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize