Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
