i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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