we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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