i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
