she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
