I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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