There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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