If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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