i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize