We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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