If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
