Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
