what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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