I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
