its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
