That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
