Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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