I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize