Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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