highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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