so explain again why im purple
no
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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