and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
