Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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