Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
