I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
