Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
