i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
