Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
