After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
