Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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