I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
