His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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