WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
