If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
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He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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