I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
