Don't you send me to vm
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
