I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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