i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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