my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
