Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
