There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
