And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
please come you make the beer taste better
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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