all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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