East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's blow job season.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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