She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
