My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
