i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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