And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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