She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
